Return of the Daily Brushback: Vatican set to ban gay men joining priesthood

Today’s question, along with some special bonus gratuitous follow-on rantings, are directed to Pope Palpatine Benedict XVI.

LP: Your Holiness, according to a new report, “homosexuals, even those who are celibate, will be barred from becoming Roman Catholic priests under stricter rules soon to be released.” Our question is this: under these new guidelines, where will the Church find new priests? I mean, you have met priests, right?

From the article:

The new Pope is a conservative who said last spring that there was a need to “purify” the Church after deeply damaging sex scandals of the last several years.

Well, I couldn’t agree more about purifying the Church. But a couple notes about those damaging sex scandals.

First, Your Holiness, you’re acting like the RCC just hired you last week to clean up JP2’s mess, but the truth is that you were a powerful leader throughout the periods when the abuses were going on and when you were shuffling known pedophile priests around the US in an elaborate shell game designed to keep them out of jail and the Church out of the headlines, when we might argue that the moral thing to do would have been to simply keep them out of little boys’ pants. You were in a position to purify the Church a long time ago, but didn’t.

Second, the sex crimes that have plagued the Church were pedophilia, not homosexuality, and if you can’t tell the difference you’re too stupid to run a Quickie Mart, let alone the largest Christian organization on the planet. Purging gays in an attempt to get rid of pedophiles is like shooting ducks to get rid of the squirrels.

The official told the New York Times that the ban would pertain only to candidates for the priesthood, not to those already ordained.

Errr, so let’s extend the metaphor a bit. The house is full of squirrels, and in an attempt to purify it we’re going to shoot the ducks that are outside, but we’ll leave the squirrels in the kitchen alone? Jesus, when did you people put Jessica Simpson in charge of strategy?

He added that the new rules called for barring even celibate men who considered themselves homosexual because of what he contended were the specific temptations of seminaries. “The difference is in the special atmosphere of the seminary,” he said. “In the seminary, you are surrounded by males, not females.”

Two words: ordain women.

The agency said the new document would indicate that men with homosexual tendencies should not be ordained even if they are celibate “because their condition suggests a serious personality disorder which detracts from their ability to serve as ministers”.

For my part, I consider looking to the superstititions and paranoias of the Dark Ages for wisdom about the spiritual life of the 21st Century to be a serious personality disorder.

But that’s just me, I guess….


2 thoughts on “Return of the Daily Brushback: Vatican set to ban gay men joining priesthood

  1. Purging gays in an attempt to get rid of pedophiles is like shooting ducks to get rid of the squirrels.
    Thank you!
    And, notice how no mention is made of all of the girls & women who were victims of molestation or sexual assault by a priest. But I s’pose that’s okay, since the Catholic Church doesn’t consider women humans…
    (and this said by someone who was raised Catholic).

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