Looks like Torque needs a bass player. Things to note if you’re thinking of applying:
- WE ARE TORQUE!
- MAKE NO MISTAKE, YOU WILL KNOW THAT!
- YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE BIG EARS WHEN YOU LISTEN!!
- WE TUNE ALL INSTRUMENTS DOWN TO KEY OF B !!
- BEST SOLID (BIG 2&4) DRUMMER WITH LARGEST DRUM KIT YOU HAVE EVER SEEN!
- 2 FRONT TOMS MEASURE 22 AND 23 INCH AROUND!! [ed note: is this some kind of euphemism?]
- BASS PLAYER WILL HAVE VERY LONG DARK WAVY HAIR (CLOSE TO BUTTOCK)!
- BIG FULL MUSTACHE! [ed note: this would seem to rule out chick bass players unless they’re from Eastern Europe]
- WE DONT MIND IF YOU HAVE PREVIOUSLY PLAYED AT RUSSIAN OR AMERICAN WEDDINGS
- GOOD HYGIENE REQUIRED! ALWAYS FAVORED BY OUR GROUPIE!!
If you’re still heaviest, you are reading ad here.
Peace be in.